Welcome to Spring and enormous thanks for all your support for my business J As you know, the business has grown rapidly in the past year and I hear it is now sometime hard to find a vacancy! I want to thank you all for your support in making my business dreams come true, it is because of you that I’m here and also to thank you for your patience as I implement the systems I need to help the business run smoothly. In the 12 months I have …
Prices Two factors are combining to influence my price change at the moment.
At this time I am going to hold off raising my hourly rate until July, so it will remain at €40. Limiting the number of Monthly Packages available The other change I’m making is to limit the number of Monthly Packages I sell. I am doing this to address the problem of people not being able to find a vacancy. I want to guarantee my Package clients that they will be able to find vacancies for all of their four sessions. For this reason, starting in April, there will only be TEN monthly available. Yet another reason to buy your package early in the month! New Colleague Finally, I wanted to let you know that I have recently met another Sports Massage Therapist & Life Coach and encouraged her to rent a room in Cascais. Unbelievably, her name is also Fiona and she is now working in Cascais on Mondays. Her contact details are on my booking site www.trimtabtao.fullslate.com Upcoming events On Tuesday 5 April I will be at the IWP ‘Mind and Body’ Mums and Tots leading
In April/May there will be two courses available Introduction to Meditation for Mothers
You can now subscribe to my daily energising meditations online and purchase my online courses too! https://gumroad.com/trimtabtao Here's a PDF copy if you want to print the Newsletter
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I'm happy to be introducing my friend Fiona Maguire, a sports massage therapist, who is joining the team at Cascais today!
If you would like to book a session with Fiona Maguire in Cascais you can contact her on 926 533 185 or [email protected]
I'm honoured that Julie from Happy Mama Happy Baby asked me to participate in 'Body Positive January'. Here's a little of my journey into friendship with my body ...
And here's my 42 Photos video that I mention ...
Part 12: Guilt and arrogance
(see previous) In a previous post in this series I talked about the reality that we may hurt others and others may hurt us. And I just wanted to expand on that a little here. One thought experiment that might be helpful is to consider ... 'Do I really think I could be the one human who could come here and not cause pain to others?' 'Am I really that arrogant to imagine that I can move through life and not make some of the mistakes, commit some of the sins, trespass on others that so many others have done?' Let us relax from this 'high-and-mighty' position and embrace that occasionally things will happen. And let us forgive ourselves. (Which pre-supposes that we be willing to forgive others. If we cannot forgive someone in our life for something, we will definitely not be able to forgive ourselves either). So be gentle :) Part 11: Solace
(see previous) In posts 8 and 9, I talk about coming to peace when we think there is no action we can take to 'right' a 'wrong'. At times like that, it maybe helpful to draw inspiration and solace from the life story of John Newton the author of 'Amazing Grace'. The story goes that as a young man he was a slave trader. One day in 1748 his boat full of slaves is hit by such a violent storm that he prays for mercy: for God to spare his life. In return, he pledges to turn his life around. How do you stand before God and beg for help when you know all the wrong-doing you have done (and the hull of the ship you are standing on is full of the evidence!)!!??! What does that feel like? In the song, we know he describes himself as a 'wretch'. And back on dry land, what can John Newton do to make amends? Can he return 'slaves' to Africa? Can he overturn the slave trade? How can he live with his 'Guilt' and make good on his promise to God? And what he does is inspiring. Firstly, he writes this song that has become a beacon of hope for SO MANY over so many generations. And he also becomes an ordained minister and campaigns for the abolition of slavery. But what I find so powerful about this life story is that it is John Newton's decision to share his most shameful and despicable actions that is his greatest gift. By being honest and humble about his worst actions, he shows all of us what it is to be human, what it is to ask for forgiveness and what it is to look our guilt in the eye and accept ourselves. So if you really can't find a way to make amends right now, maybe let the song 'Amazing Grace' become your mantra for a while. Really being present to those words as you sing might just open up a course of action for you. Part 10: Human Resilience - we must forgive ourselves for causing pain
(see previous) To sum up ... Feeling ‘guilt’ will not help the other person. The energy we are using to ‘feel guilt’ is taking energy away from the energy we could use to take action. It is creating a river block that makes us less ALIVE, less spontaneous, less able to contribute our unique amazing-ness to the dance of life. From Life’s perspective, there is no purpose in being ‘LESS’. We came here to be ‘MORE’, to contribute our unique-ness to the Dance. Get out there and … Feel your feelings (your real feelings) Take action from stillness Accept the ‘BIG-NESS’ of Life and the small part you play in it. And remember that we are ASTOUNDINGLY RESILIENT. Human beings survive the most extreme circumstances and come out thriving. Let us not disempower others of their resilience. It is never pleasant when we injure someone – it is not a desirable experience in any way – but, it does happen on the ‘playing field of life’. So let us remember that the person we believe we’ve injured is astoundingly resilient, return to them the power of their true nature and give them the space to respond to circumstances in their unique, creative and inspiring way. We must be careful not to see people as ‘victims’ because using that vision we disempower them and make it harder for them to respond powerfully to their situation. This is another ego game – to see that we are the ALL POWERFUL, SUPER HERO/ SUPER VILLAIN whose actions DESTROY others and that others can NEVER recover from and that we should NEVER be forgiven for. And that others are VICTIMS who cannot recover because we are ALL POWERFUL. Let’s back off from that ego story and accept that we are both players on the field. We are equals. Sometimes we injure others. Sometimes others injure us. We must humbly accept that sometimes we cause pain. It is part of the game that takes place on this field. We must FORGIVE ourselves for causing PAIN. I hope you have found this series of post on 'Guilt' to be useful and thought-provoking. I'd love to hear your thoughts, please leave a comment if you have one :) Part 9 : Is 'hurting others' OK?
(see previous) In the cut-and-thrust of being alive it is a truth that it is OK to hurt people. It is OK to be hurt by people. We are on the field of play. Things happen. It is part of the drama. We don’t always know why. Some things are bigger than us. And that is a good thing. This drama, called life, is not controllable. We didn’t come here to control life and have some ‘sanitised’ experience. We are here having a REAL, LIVE HUMAN experience. We don’t know what is going to happen. (to be continued ...) Part 8: What if we can't make amends?
(see previous) Sometimes there may be cases where we feel that we have done something ‘wrong’ but there is no action we can take. If this is the case, it is an opportunity for us to accept that LIFE is so much bigger than us: That there is an organising power of the Universe that is beyond our comprehension: ‘That things are unfolding as they should’: That we are just humble members of this Dance of Life – it is an honour to be part of that Dance, but we are not choreographing it, selecting the music, choosing the venue, in-charge of the guest list etc – we are just dancers; wonderful, amazing, humble dancers. So if you’ve injured someone, and there is no action you can take to improve the injured party’s experience, I’m suggesting you take a deep breath, acknowledge the ‘BIG-NESS’ of life, that we may never understand exactly why we play a particular part in someone’s life and surrender to that. (to be continued ...) Part 7: Three steps to 'Giving up Guilt'
The following steps take the knowledge we've discussed in the previous posts and turn them into practical actions. (see previous) So, if we want to improve our relationship with ‘guilt’, there are a few things we need to do. First, connect with our body and find out what the primary emotion is that we are trying to ‘restrain’ by feeling ‘guilt’ instead. Then connect with that primary emotion, feel it, process it and let it leave the system. Second, let us let go of the ego story that EVERYthing is about us. Let’s let go of the idea that ‘I have to be PERFECT’ and the idea that there are ‘WRONG THINGS THAT CAN’T BE FORGIVEN’ (Please, please contact me if you think there are ‘wrong things that can’t be forgiven’ because that is causing A LOT OF SUFFERING and I am so happy to work that through with you.) When we truly let go of the ego story that this is ALL ABOUT ME we can look at the situation in a more detached way and see if there is anything we can do to assist the person we believe we’ve injured. And if there is an action we can take, that action will then be a GIFT to that person, not something we are doing to MAKE OURSELVES FEEL BETTER (i.e. we won’t be USING the other person to make us feel better, we’ll be doing an action out of stillness with no desired consequence. This is very powerful.) (To be continued ...) Part 6: Wrong-doings are UNFORGIVABLE
(see previous) The way I see it, ideally, we want to move through this experience of life as lightly as possible. (This goes back to the ‘letting the water flow’ analogy). If we have done something ‘wrong’, we want to sincerely feel that experience; acknowledge and accept reality, let the water flow and move on. There is no benefit in staying stuck in a river block. It doesn’t help you and it doesn’t help the other person. It does, however, help the ego ‘me’ story, because now this one-off event where ‘I did something wrong’ (that should pass uneventfully into the history of a billion other things that have done) becomes a story that I can really build on and make all about ‘me’. ‘I’m the bad one’, ‘I’m the one who did something terrible’, ‘It’s all my fault’, ‘I’m flawed’, ‘There’s something wrong with me’, ‘I’m going to be rejected’, ‘I’m going to be despised’. The main theme here is ‘me’. And the ego loves when the story is about ‘me’ – even if it means I have to be the ‘bad’ person – at least I am the STAR! And making this river block really stick it also helps if we have some idea that we have to be PERFECT and that mistakes and ‘wrong’-doings are UNFORGIVABLE. (These are concepts that are very attractive to people with a Pitta mind-body dosha – but maybe that’s a post for another day too!) (to be continued ...) |
AuthorI'm an Ayurvedic Life Coach, Teacher and Massage Therapist living on the 'Linha de Cascais' in Portugal. I love sharing Ayurveda and appreciation of Life with others. Archives
April 2020
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